I'd appreciate some input on my first draft of my "Dobson letter." In the category of "What is the oddest gift your ever gave your wife for Christmas?", I'm going to answer, "My Dobson letter." As so here it is for your review and comment.
Thank you.
Dear WAW,
When I look at our lives during the past three and a half years, I see a relationship that I don’t like. I don’t like the way it was and I don’t like the way it is now. It’s taken me some time to sort out my thoughts and feelings about our relationship, and now I feel like I need to express them to you.
I’ve loved you through all the situations that life has brought our way and I’ve chosen to still love you today. I’ve kept my commitment to you to be true to you until death did us part. My love for you has changed over the years and now it is a love that I never thought that I would feel, but I do. It is a bittersweet love.
I don’t deny that you have feelings about your unhappiness, the state of our relationship or me. They are your feelings and you are entitled to them. I don’t agree with how you went about acting on your feelings. I see your actions as destructive, selfish and immoral.
I love D15 and D13. I’ve tried hard over the past 15 months to protect them from the aspects of our separation that I thought would be hurtful and harmful to them. I’ve hugged them, consoled them, dried their tears and assured them that they are in no way responsible for our separation. I know that you also love D15 and D13 and have done the same.
At times during the past three years or so, I felt like I’ve taken on the challenge of trying to save our relationship by myself. For two years I think that I smothered you with behavior that I thought would show you that I cared and would make you feel loved. During the past 15 months, I’ve gone to a few counselors, done a lot of reading and a lot of thinking trying to understand your thoughts and behavior. I’ve also refused to let go of you.
I have to come to some conclusion after all my introspection. I've made some changes in myself and need to make a few more changes in order to have more respect for myself and to see myself with more dignity.
I know that you want to divorce me, and so I am letting go. I love you but neither of us has been happy with our current relationship. I don’t know what you have planned for your future and I don’t know what the future holds for me. I do know that I have the strength and courage to handle what ever comes my way without you, I’ve already proven that to myself. In the mean time, D15, D13 and I will be a family and I will be the best father that I can be to them. Maybe someday in the future, a special woman will enter my life, and I hope the girls will accept her. I will be better prepared to have a happy, healthy relationship with her as a result of what I’ve learned during this time.
I will miss you. I will miss the four of us being a family.
