If you put your head over the parapet now, it is likely to be shot down because you are responding to your needs and your feelings rather than those of your wife.
That's distorted, huh? IOW, she steps up ugly behaviors in order to make you not want her. A simple, civil, "Please stop. I don't feel the same way." won't do for her, huh? Or has she already done that, been there... and you've kept pushing, so she feels she needs to act that way?
Now I know how WAW felt about the get-well card. She returned it ripped into about 50 pieces, but who's counting. My thoughts on this? Well, I got the message and I get the message. At an earlier time in this sitch, my heart would have been over the parapet and gotten a hole in it, but now I take it as just a message and will use it to further help me drop the rope.
I really feel now that there is no way to save my M. I've come to understand that my perspective and WAW's perspective are 180's. I perceive that she needs psych help to get past her feelings about the way her parents brought her up and her feelings on her parents role-modeling marriage. From her perspective she already knows how to handle that and it is by moving on when you are unhappy. From my perspective, if she continues this thought/behavior pattern, she will find only superficial, temporary happiness in each relationship. That is my perspective.
