Well, LL, I finally understand what you're getting out of this R with your H - cause it's the same I'm getting with my R that is nonexistent.
You are getting to avoid your own issues. You're getting to avoid your own growth.
It would be extremely uncomfortable to "start over" to learn how to date, to do all the things that you never learned to do cause you established this R so early on.
THere's no use complaining any more about H. You're right, you've tried everything and he's not going to change.
I think you're hanging onto the side of a swimming pool with glass shards. The other side has velvety grass, but it would mean, swimming to the other side and you don't know if you would make it.
Let's face it, LL, things couldn't get worse. Jump off the diving board. You're going to do it eventually anyway, better sooner than later, then you'll have more life to live.
I'm not lying to you. It is uncomfortable, especially when SO seems to be so comfortable and happy. I just have to have Faith that God has a plan for me and if I keep doing the brave thing, I will be rewarded.
Everytime it's time for me to work on my writing or get somethign done I find myself thinking about my SO, then I realize I'm just focusing on his faults so as to hide my own.
