when you phoned ow and she said that she wanted to say I told you so...
What did this mean?
it meant she thought she should feel happy that things didn't work out...in other words I told you we all married the wrong people.
Can you question her about H?
We (Ow and I) have decided that it was in the past...she learned from it and should move on...I'm not calling her again...the problems in my m have nothing to do with her...never did.
I'd like to know what he was like when he was with her.
So would I. I know that he used to call her everyday and showed up at her house every other day...as far as what he was actually "like" with her? who knows other than one of her complaints about her h was that he was emotionally unavailable..so I suppose my h was to her? I do know that he was someone she could talk to about her illness...they also eventually had conversations about how they could trust eachother...I get the sense from her that he even talked about me (she mentioned some things I did during sep that got to him) Does it really matter what he was like with her? what matters is how he is with me right?
Quote: Also try asking him: what do you think I think of you? that'd be an interesting conversation. Does he have trouble apologizing or saying Thank you? Most things are done indirectly...if they are direct it's on the phone (does that indicate a lack of intimacy or what?
The reason why I'm curious how he was with OW is that I'm trying to determine if SO is NPD or what.
If he was emotionally available for her though, it might just be because he felt safe enough since both he and she were not actually available (married etc.)
I read that NPD's can't say thankyou or apologize.
Also I read that it would befuddle them if you asked them, what do you think I think of you.
Well, what if you didn't answer the phone when he called in the middle of the day -it's not like you exchange anything necessary. And what if at night you go out...
The reason why I'm curious how he was with OW is that I'm trying to determine if SO is NPD or what.
If he was emotionally available for her though, it might just be because he felt safe enough since both he and she were not actually available (married etc.)
lot's of reasons why he would be different with her...some of them meaningfull and some of them just reasons.
I read that NPD's can't say thankyou or apologize.
I don't like to categorize people...I don't find it useful.
Also I read that it would befuddle them if you asked them, what do you think I think of you.
I think it would befuddle most people, no?
Well, what if you didn't answer the phone when he called in the middle of the day -it's not like you exchange anything necessary. And what if at night you go out...
There have been times when I've not bothered to answer the phone and I have gone out at night...not sure what you intend by "..." though?
Hi LL, Just wanted to stop by and let you know I haven't 'abandoned' you! I've been away last week, and the week before had my parents at my house. But I've been following along as I could.
I'm on the way to the office now, but let's get back to searching for those little 'solutions' - or opportunities to do things differently and get closer to the results you want. Apart from the computer snafu - how are things going? Is H. still coming home earlier? Still calling to check in throughout the day? Are you taking care of yourself and working on your goals as stated a few weeks ago?
