NO ONE, including me, is asking you to make any changes. It's fine if you're not ready to answer the questions I posed, but let me be very clear. I AM NOT SUGGESTING YOU MAKE ANY CHANGES. YOU are the one who in a few posts above said "something's gotta change" - so I simply asked you, LL, what's gotta change & how are you going to get there?
what's gotta change is me. I know that I can no longer stay in this r but have been trying to make it work. now the changes that are needed are to make me strong enough to do what needs to be done.
Quote: Stop seeking to justify your desired change or making it easier by blaming H. & a possible other A.
Why can't I blame h?
By all means, go ahead and blame H. Let me ask you this: [think Dr. Phil twang] And how's that workin' fer ya?
If somehow it gets you closer to the life you want to live by blaming H. then great. But LL all this blame and resentment is getting you nowhere but down. Girl, I'm not saying it's easy - I am saying that it's not getting you anything you really value.
I wont be getting what I really value from h...pitty I didn't listen to myself before we married...we weren't happy with eachother (and that's not a changing of history...I recall a convo while we were engaged saying "we are like an old couple now...doing nothing spending little time, what are we going to be like when we are married") then why did I believe we would be happy married? Part of me believed the promises he made...I don't believe them anymore...Part of me thought it wouldn't bother me as much that he's so wrapped up in his business cause I'd be wrapped up in the kids and house...trouble is I want a full life...why should I spend my life waiting for h to be available? where's it getting me? it's getting me to a point where I no longer care if he's available or not...infact I'd rather him not be...it's become easier, the rare occassion that he is available I feel like I'm with a stranger.
I'm gonna let the rest sit for a while bec. I fear I am not really helping you and we're going in circles.
I'm dizzy myself. I did try to talk to h wed night...he of course had the same excuses "that's just the way I am", "it's a busy time of year", it never changes...he had nothing to say and still didn't bother to call at all the next day/evening came home strangly spent some time with the kids and then retreated to the basement. I can't live this way anymore...I'd rather be alone than spend my life with someone who's priorities lye elswhere.
goals? start working out.. finally use those gift cards and buy myself some new clothes use gift card for spa day let hair grow go back to c find out what/how to take action in filing...I can't do this anymore.
