The pain you are feeling right now is palpable. And we have all been in your position, albeit in our individual circumstances. I do think that a mother losing her children is particularly painful, which is not to say that a father's pain is not terrible, but the physical thing of carrying a child, birthing it and breastfeeding it etc makes for that extra level of attachment, IMO. Sometimes there are shades of jealousy from the father in this situation, that he can't do certain things like a mother can. Could this be the case with Andy? The fact that he has taken them away from you, to home educate them, and won't share them more even though you are willing? The fact that he has constantly criticised your mothering skills, although it is not apparent what he is criticising exactly, apart from the neglect of them some years ago, when you were depressed - because he had walked out, correct? Would he get less state benefit if he allowed you more access to them?
You said earlier that your marriage was fine and he was a model husband up until the time he left. What made him leave then?
I am trying to understand a little more so as to see the bigger picture.
Livnlearn
"The unexamined life is not worth living" - Socrates
