I have tears in my eyes after reading that. How hurt you must be and I am so sorry. I think this is the first post of yours that I have read, but I am going to try to get the time to read thourgh your sitch.
I'm sorry I don't have something wonderfully comforting to say, I can only offer a cyber hug and my condolences for your loss.
Me 54 DS19 and DS17 Married 06/1989 Divorced 01/2011