Being Me

[Livnlearn]

I personally feel if Andy had an ounce of thought, empathy or common sense, he would acknowledge that you are still part of his family (the mother of his kids, after all, and that link will NEVER be broken) and that you knew his father well, being with his son for so many years and bearing his children, that he would consider it right and proper that you attend the funeral and as a courtesy to you, NOT invite OW and her daughter. FIL "liked" them, so what? Did she look after the kids and clean his house for him when he was visiting his Dad in hospital?

I'm sorry for you, Greek Goddess. I can't imagine the pain you are in, being separated from your own children. It is not even clear to me whether you have regular, fixed, court mandated contact with your three other children. Why is it so often up to Andy to decide whether he will let you see them or not?

Can you let us know in a nutshell why he was granted custody? I think you said you were suffering from depression after he left, but that is hardly grounds for removing children from their mother, is it? And HE was the one who left!

Also, can you look back clearly and see what Andy was like way back, before all this stuff? What was he like during the early part of your marriage? Has he really changed, or is it just a continuation of the same, only you are not on his 'team' now... After I had a good long look at how things were in my marriage, I realised that H was the same old H, perhaps with some things a bit exacerbated by MLC, but nothing VASTLY different from before. Only I had been dumped, so I no longer counted in his world, I was on the 'outside'. Narcissists get enamoured of things/people and "love them to bits", then eventually get bored and dump them unceremoniously, like a small child with a toy.

I know this doesn't help you regarding the kids, but it might influence how you think about Andy.

((((((((((((((((((((hugs))))))))))))))))))))))))

Livnlearn