No actually I can't put up with the OW and if you are ever in my position, you would see why. There's no one else aside from him that would expect me to be there.
If my DD was flippin' getting married and he was turning up with OW I wouldn't go. I feel so strongly about it and so negative about it that I can't put anyone else's feelings first, and what's more I don't give a crap if it's selfish. I have to look after me first because no one else does.
You're right it isn't about me, there's so little of it that is about me that I don't even genuinely know whether FIL would have wanted me there. Sometimes, Wes, I just get sick of always being the one who is expected to be supportive and put my feelings aside as if I haven't got any. I am not made of iron, and I'm NOT his DIL, it's about time Andy faced that.
Re your comment about the hand-holding; you're right. So why do you think I haven't asked him yet?? Because he's not my husband and I know for a fact he wouldn't care if I was scared. It's a fantasy of mine, to have him there. By the time they operate, I hope to be over my fear. It was my choice to do it and for atonement, so come hell or high water I will do it even if I am scared.
