Andy just phoned me. He always manages to make me feel depressed
He said he'd forgotten about the dance class and double-booked with his aunty to discuss funeral arrangements. He said, though, that he'd postpone her and still come with the girls to the dancing.
He told me the funeral would be next Friday. I told him I wasn't prepared to go as his ex. He said 'Go as his daughter-in-law, then.' I said 'I'm not his daughter-in-law, not anymore.' He said 'Maybe not legally, but that doesn't matter, does it?' (Er, actually it DOES matter, yeah). I said I would only go if we went together and walked in there together. He said okay but that he would be pretty busy with everything so he couldn't stay near me all the time. I said fair enough.
Then he said EX-OW and Rose wanted to go too. I said 'why would they be going?' He said because his dad liked them (evidently more than me, I was thinking). I asked if they would be travelling in the same car as Andy. He said 'Yes, but you can handle it for one day, can't you? For his funeral??' (Er, NO. How many women could handle travelling a 2 hour round trip with their lover and his ex-lover and daughter in the same car????).
I said 'No, Andy, I can't do that for you, or even for him. I'm not going as an ex and especially not if they are going too.'
He said 'Well, I don't know if they are going yet or what the travel arrangements will be.'
I said 'Sorry, but I can't promise you anything.'
That's that then. I've made up my mind. No funeral. I am in tears now (grief, anger, sadness??? I dunno).
