I spent the day filing, paying bills, tidying and trying to find a non-religious minister for Andy's dad's funeral. Then I sent Andy an email with the details, including the phone number of the minister who did that pagan wedding I went to a few months back.
I've done my bit now, I reckon. The kids are back at Andy's (apart from DD4), I've done everything he asked me to do.
Now I just feel really down in a kind of 'God-I-hate-my-life-it's-so-crap kind of way.
I am debating over whether to go to the funeral and my gut instinct is to stay away. He was in my life for 18 years (although the last 2 only by msn messenger) and I am sure he would have wanted me to be there, but I really can't face walking in there as his ex-daughter-in-law, and a nothing to his son.
I am divorced now, at Andy's insistence, so I'm not even a member of the family anymore - girls or no girls.
I will tell him soon that I don't want to be there.
