Andy phoned this morning just as I was going to go out and said 'hello'. His 'hello' sounded so flat that my stomach dropped into my shoes, I thought his dad had died. He said 'No, not yet.' Apparently on the 19th when the dr's told him there was no hope and was dying, they didn't expect him to live more than a few hours but he got through the 20th and is still here now, abeit on machines. They won't switch off yet as there are still brain waves. Andy came back from the hospital yesterday when he realised that death would not happen then, and now he is back at home, just waiting. He asked me to carry my cell phone at all times (I don't usually) and asked if he could drop the girls off with me at a moment's notice in case he has to rush back to his father. I agreed.
He's supposed to be having DD4 this weekend but I don't think that will happen, considering. I told him he was welcome to visit her here, tomorrow, for the afternoon, if he wanted. He is going to.
I asked him how he was and we talked for ages about his feelings and about his dreams and I told him one I'd had of him planting new trees and I said how positive that was and it's all about fresh starts and new beginnings, not the end. He said I should sell that dream book I wrote and I told him that some people were already interested and it's not published yet.
Then - considering his dad is just about to die - he came up with this really great idea, he said 'Why don't you do it as an e-book? Put it on your website, charge people a small fee to download it, and hey presto, e-book before it's even printed!'
You know, that's really smart. Why didn't I think of that? I thanked him for the idea.
He started complaining of a headache so I told him to go and drink 3 cups of peppermint tea (takes headaches away) and go to bed. He said he would.
Right after I got off the phone from him, I got this awful stomach pain and then flooded everywhere
I called the dr and have an appointment to get checked tomorrow morning, so I'll have to put Andy off till the afternoon. This is the 'early miscarriage' the GP told me I was having, and the clinic already told me that there was no hope as the HCG was too low etc, so I knew it would happen, but heck, it was still horrible to see blood
I had a quick 5 minute cry and then pulled myself together. I refuse to get upset when Andy is losing his dad - he's more important.
I've had awful cramps all day but went out and got some shopping in for the girls and some more coffee and biscuits for Andy to cheer myself up.
A cheque arrived in the post after all the above, from IPC Media, paying me for this article I wrote for a magazine. It's not in the shops till January, so I wasn't expecting the money till then, but they've paid me now, which is great considering those fines. I smiled when I saw the cheque, then felt like a bitch for smiling when all this is going on.
