Jo - sorry, but I have to agree with Gabe's observations. It sounds like both of you were equally responsible in the downward spiral your interactions took. It's like my kids bickering - it really doesn't matter who took the first shot, the one who continues it is just as culpable as the one who started it.
I see you reading way too much into everything that is said. I suspect Andy feels bewildered and confused around you because he never knows when some statement of his is going to set you off.
Jo, I know this is a terrible situation, and Andy is a very confused guy, but a big part of DBing is working on ourselves. Learning to improve your pattern of interacting will help you in all your other relationships. You REact so quickly and blindly, you end up whip-sawed around emotionally. I think you can learn to be more proactive, and control your course better.
