Hanging on the Best Parts 2

[WCW]

Thanks amd, I'll work on that. I was there a while ago, didn't really like who I was becoming, what H was driving me too become, and have turned a lot of it around, but I am still a work in progress.

OP04 - you want a Warmblood? talk about strength! you'll need it to handle them! I suppose they're not all bad, sort of like Arabians get a bad rap all the time. But the limited exposure I've had with those breeds has not been pleasant.

As bigAl suggested, I could use some 180's and rescue input. I do ask for help and input from H on things I do around the place and projects I work on. In fact, this morning H took his shower after mine. So I hung around and asked his opinion on stuff I'm coming up with for Sunday's deal at our place. I don't necessarily agree with some of his ideas, but I'll use them as he explained it. And I didn't do chores this morning. I did a 180 on that, and figured as long as he's still around I ought to get as much help out of him as I can. I don't know if those are 180's or just spinning circles.

Is it possible I come across as strong and independent, but on the inside I'm not? I honestly don't feel intimidating, but maybe I am and don't know it. I'm not usually opposed at all to asking H to help with something heavy that I am physically unable to do, or asking for help getting a vehicle dropped off for an oil change, or asking his input on something. All surface things, maybe he's actually tired of rescuing me? But when it comes to physical or emotional or financial or intimacy the last couple years, I'm scared silly. I can plan it all out in my head, but when I get near him I can't talk about those types of things. I wish I could get past all of this stuff and just be me again, spontaneous and loving, and have it returned.

Today is my last chance to get a fresh made caramel apple from the neighborhood farmers market. Last time I invited H to come along and it was nice. Not sure what to do this time, if it would be a friendly invitation to something we always do, and be a truce flag for this week, or if it's pursuing and I should leave him alone. HHmm, a couple hours to think about it.