I have to agree with the previous poster that there's probably some kind of dynamic going on in your R regarding one strong, responsible partner and one irresponsible partner. I can't remember if it was the DR book or something else I read about that dynamic.
But, I will not give you any advice on how to change this dynamic because I know I would stear you wrong. In my R, H was more financially responsible and practical in most ways. But I was the emotionally strong, independent one. When we were separating my mom told me that both our problems were that we acted too strong and the men in our lives just thought they didn't have to be there for us. So she advised me to lay it all on the line and tell him I NEEDED him. I did just that. And here I am. So, I can't help you out to much there.
About my horse days. They were way back. From birth to High School and a year or so in college. I dabbled in some showing, but we didn't have the money for that kind of thing. Mostly just trail riding and exploring stuff. The good stuff. But, for over 10 years I haven't owned a horse. I like the coast and my H likes the midwest. I told him the one thing that might make up for not living close to the ocean is a horse. A nice big warm blood. Maybe a Trakehner. My fantasy steed.
Keep your head up. Sounds like you are focusing well. I want to call you strong and all that, but I know it will just frustrate you...I know exactly what you mean.
