Hanging on the Best Parts 2

[WCW]

Thanks, Zman. Your input is helpful and means a bunch. Whether I agree or not, H feels that I was very hurtful to him in our 10 years prior to his unadmitted EA/PA, causing him so much pain that he shut down from me. IMO, he found OW first and then shut down from me, but he doesn't see it that way. I can point to the very week in Sept 03 he changed, and 9 months later the cell phone bills verified it. And if I caused so much pain, he should have sort of mentioned it during all those times we talked about us/marriage/goals/buying real estate/etc...... Old water, old bridges. But I do think that's why he won't let go with his feelings/sex/emotion, he thinks he'll get hurt again. HELLO! what does he think he's been doing to me for over TWO years! I have to learn to trust him, he has to let himself trust me.

Speaking of trust, the cell phone bill came in the mail today. Now, as background, H has been hiding cell phone bills for 18 months, intercepting them in the mail so I haven't seen one except for the time I told the mail lady to hold it at the post office and I'd pick it up. H was livid! He doesn't usually get the mail from the box as a matter of habit, but he ALWAYS intercepts the cell phone bill. Except today. I was just thinking about it on the drive home, figuring it was due to be here, and figured H would snag it again. And there it was! still in the box. So, is this a matter of trust? is he trusting me to see what I'll do with it? I have not opened it, it's laying on the table. I sure am curious, but I think I'll see what he does with it, if it's available for my viewing.

Mr King of GAL Zen, what kind of riding are you doing? English or Western? what kind of horse? are you wearing those tight little English riding pants?