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ZenMan, so good to hear from you! What are you up to now?




Sorry, I lost you in the new thread shuffle.

As for me: motorcycle, shoulder tattoo, riding horses, training for a triathalon, still boxing, 2nd round of NZ immigration papers pending. King of GAL still reigns. No DBing though and D is all but final at this point. We have both moved on. Oh well.

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So ZenMan, theoritically speaking, if your stbxw came and wanted to jump your bones, how would you react? What I'm asking is can you have sex with emotion?




I'd tell her to go jump in the river. I won't go into the reasons but I'm pretty angry at her and I don't know if I would even be able to perform "for old-time's sake". That's sorta graphic but it is the truth. Don't like her much anymore.

Of course, that doesn't help with any insight into *your* situation.

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Is my H holding back from the physical pleasure of both of us because his emotion is mixed with sex? We used to talk about sex, making love, what it meant to us. He's had numerous partners prior to me, he wasn't explicit but did tell me that much of it was just sex. That was when he was high school/college, many years ago. I told him that for me it was the emotional attachment that made sex good, and he knows my buttons. Last year when I was trying anything, I asked for just sex, just for physical pleasure, it didn't happen. And now still, at the level we are currently at, it's mostly for him and he won't reciprocate.




You've said that he is very physical but is also the strong-and-silent type. I would say that he's not good at the "just sex" thing but isn't that what he has been giving you for the last year or two? Sex w/ little intimacy? I don't know. It is hard to pin down.

I think he needs to get kicked in the head by one of the horses. Not seriosly injured...just needs to have his head rejiggered.

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Whew! all this talk, I get so anxious to see him. And then something goes all wrong before I even open my mouth and I cower in mind.




WCW, I'm not saying this to be mean. You don't *need* him. Everyone here knows what a great person you are. And you are obvisouly passionate about what you do and stay plenty active. I'm not saying that you should give up on him in any way but don't "cower". If that doofus doesn't come around then he will have really screwed up and someone is going to get a real catch. If you can internalize that...that you don't *need* him but you do *want* him...I'd bet that it would relax you quite a bit which would then help with your situation.

I don't know. All big talk from someone who isn't in your situation.