Joe_negativity's updates:

[Just_Me]

Hi all,

I won't be on here for the next week so I'm offering my "Happy turkey day" in advance. Thanks for stopping by Michael. You weren't around for the numerous name changes. There was a brief period of time I called myself Joe negativity since my advice and comments were usually pessimistic. I'm not as negative as all that. In fact, I'm positive that for each of us life will go on and that things will get better. It's not necessarily true that life will include the walk-away spouse or XS

Anyway, I could write this on the other thread since it's a Friday, but I'll write my Friday musing here. A friend got me thinking about the nature of love. She had mentioned that the love she felt for her child was the measure of love.

This gave me pause to think. What is the difference that makes love between parent and child work so well. Why isn't it difficult like these relationships. Even the best relationships need life continuing breathed into them in order to keep love alive. No such effort is required with your children.

In many ways the love between man and wife can be greater. In my relationship with my kids I love them and they love me, but in the relationship I am their support, their source of comfort, their "soft place to fall" (stealing this phrase from Beth because I like it). I don't require or expect my kids to fill that role. I am fulfilled in the relationship simply through the joy of being there for them. In a marriage or other intimate relationship, both parties have expectations that their partner is the one that they can always come to for support, sympathy, compassion, understanding--that their spouse is their soft place to fall. When this doesn't work out then you feel cheated, but if you can make it work so that both parties get what they need from the relationship, it has the potential to be an incredible love. Is the love so much easier to kill in a marriage because expect so much more? Your thoughts?