Joe_negativity's updates:

[Just_Me]

Hi, I could post stuff about me, but I guess it doesn't matter. Jdd was right afterall, I do belong in surviving the big D. I think I basically want someone in my life, but I've become fairly sure that it isn't my XW that I want to fill that role. In case you are wondering...I'm not angry..I'm just waking up. Waking up to the fact that the marriage wasn't that great, my life wasn't that happy, and that things will be WORSE with her in it. We did have a discussion last night that broke down to...we are going to take a step back from even this "friendship" or whatever the h@ll it was. That feels right to me. I've lately become increasingly less satisfied with the interactions we have had. When we would go out to dinner I'd feel like I'd just had a bad date. I would find myself regretting saying yes to dinner or a movie.

Anyway, my post today is about change. It's a daily OM I got today and it seemed quite timely because I'm going to be going through the change of settling in to a "normal" divorce.

November 10, 2005
Smoothing Transitions
10 Steps To Making Change Easier
1. Begin by making small changes or break up large-scale changes into more manageable increments. This can make you feel better about handling the changes you are about to make while making you more comfortable with change in general.

2. Mentally link changes to established daily rituals. This can make changes like taking on a new habit, starting a new job, or adapting to a new home happen much more smoothly. For example, if you want to begin meditating at home, try weaving it into your morning routine.

3. Going with the flow can help you accept change instead of resisting it. If you stay flexible, you will be able to ride out change without too much turbulence.

4. When a change feels most stressful, relief can often be found in finding the good that it brings. An illness, a financial loss, or a broken relationship can seem like the end of the world, yet they also can be blessings in disguise.

5. Remember that all change involves a degree of learning. If you find change particularly stressful, try to keep in mind that after this period of transformation has passed, you will be a wiser person for it.

6. Remember that upheaval and confusion are often natural parts of change. While we can anticipate certain elements that a change might bring, it is impossible to know everything that will happen in advance. Be prepared for unexpected surprises, and the winds of change won't easily knock you over.

7. Don't feel like you have to cope with changing circumstances or the stress of making a change on your own. Talk about what's going on for you with a friend or write about it in a journal. Sharing your feelings can give you a sense of relief while helping you find the strength to carry on.

8. Give yourself time to accept any changes that you face. And as change happens, recognize that you may need time to adjust to your new situation. Allow yourself a period of time to reconcile your feelings. This can make big changes feel less extreme.

9. No matter how large or difficult a change is, you will eventually adapt to these new circumstances. Remember that regardless of how great the change, all the new that it brings will eventually weave itself into the right places in your life.

10. If you're trying to change a pattern of behavior or navigate your way through a life change, don't assume that it has to be easy. Wanting to cry or being moody during a period of change is natural. Then again, don't assume that making a change needs to be hard. Sometimes, changes are meant to be that easy.