It came to me that there is an inherent flaw in "being the person they fell in love with." The problem is that was based largely on physical attraction and superficial things. The person they fell in love with is also the same one they fell out of love with. So we do need to be cognizant to the negative aspects of ourselves...that is...if we find them to be undesirable...not the WAS/XS. Just because they find being gregarious something they don't like doesn't mean you should change. The way we were, the men/women that didn't analyze or look at actions, failed to recognize that the marriage was in serious trouble. We do have to be a little more observant in the future.
But I'm not disagreeing with you. Looking so closely at everything is probably more harm than good.
Jo, I worry that Andy's focus is all physical. He talks about wanting to f**k you and that you look sexy and that he thinks you want him too. That sounds like a horney guy to me. Does he ever compliment you on your brains, your initiative, your skills, your mothering? Simply showing a lustful look and expressing a want for sex doesn't sound much different than trying to pick up a sleezy girl at the bar. Forgive me for my bluntness, but he doesn't show you love in any other areas that you find important...well anyone would find important. If I were you, he would have to show me that I meant more than someone to have sex with.
In the end, it's not the years in your life that count. It's the life in your years. Abraham Lincoln
It is hard to fail, but it is worse never to have tried to succeed. Theodore Roosevelt
