I would even guess that it's closer to 100% of what they do has nothing to do with us. Anything that they do only serves a purpose for them. Maybe there's an element of regret, guilt, anger or all of those things as to why they do what they do. Who really knows?
That was the biggest problem that I had with DBing. I felt that I held on to every little word or action trying my hardest to read somekind of meaning into it. These spouses and ex spouses of ours are confused puppies who have no clue as to what they are doing or why. I think that they're figuring out things as they go. Their biggest agenda is probably trying to find that elusive happiness that will escape them until they face their real problems. We may be part of the problem, but the whole problem? Not by a long shot.
That's why I vote to fix what we can and that would be us!
