My question: Do actions speaker louder than words?
In the DB world it sure seems as though we imagine they do. We look at these little subtle things (ie my XW appears depressed) and try to interpret it. In the case of an XW that appears to us depressed we make so many assumptions...their facial expression/demeanor is one of depression/unhappiness when perhaps it's just tiredness. Then we assume it's about us or even about the divorce (ie they are figuring out divorce isn't all that peachy) when perhaps it's work stress or a different relationship altogether. The spouse may even be making it clear that they want to keep us at arms length because they know our feelings for him/her. Or they say/do something nice and we think it means our WAS/XS cares for us. We do the same with negative things. Actions are so subject to interpretation. And what's worse, they are subject to the interpretation of the LBS and whatsmore, a person of the opposite sex. If we are to believe we don't even speak the same language, ala Mars and Venus, why would we imagine we could speak the same language when it's non-verbal cues? It's my opinion that unless the action is glaringly discrepant from the words, trying to interpret an action is misleading and even then there may be alternative explanations. What do you think?
In the end, it's not the years in your life that count. It's the life in your years. Abraham Lincoln
It is hard to fail, but it is worse never to have tried to succeed. Theodore Roosevelt
