Quote: MsNop: I'm not actually certain what you're getting at.
Are you saying that I have to have a point?
Quote:
Do you mean, what is on my list that I "want" from W? That's pretty clear: The actual list I gave W had things like, respect my boundaries, be a good role model for our kids(e.g. be mom-like to your stepkids, because their mom isn't very mommish), treat me as an adult, more physical touch, make love to me. Her list was manage my ex, stay within budget, follow through on agreements, give her space, continue my spiritual exploration, be honest.
There seems to be a lot more of "unofficial" stuff then on her list-requirements of you. Based on what you share here, she regularly verbally expresses disatisfaction about you, toward you, that are perhaps a part of the generic "follow through on agreements?". Wasn't there a recent critique on the quality of your housecleaning, a snit about money, the lunch sitch?
In other words, I get the impression that *you* get an ongoing commentary/review of your quality of list-satisfying, but I don't ever see where you get to review *her* level of list-accomplishments.
It's like there's ongoing scoring, but she's the only one at the judge's table.
And I didn't mean to imply that your sitch was like the tv folks, that really was meant only in a limited way to respond to the idea that difficult people *must* know what they are doing.
Quote: I can tell that trouble is brewing right now. I can hear it in her voice when I talked to her on the phone this afternoon. She is stressed from work, and my radar is active. How am I preparing? I just keep telling myself that all of you are here, on my shoulder, whispering: fight the power! don't take that crap! keep smiling, it'll drive her crazy, you're a good person, walk away! stay out of her sh!t!, etc.
Let me ask you something - are you allowed to express your stress the same way your wife does?
