I guess the next step is to let go.. and live in a place where it doesnt matter what he does, but I don't know how to get there. How do I get there?
One foot in front of the other, one day at a time. A leap forward here and a little backslide there. And maybe, after all that, it still never happens. But still, you're okay.
I'd like to be able to live how I believe in living.. to give and love and care with a certain amount of security.
And you've earned that. You'll have it one day, because you'll attract it into your life.
Now I look ahead and see me going back to changing who I am for him.. ignoring my needs and hoping that he'll care enough to protect my heart.
And you know that's not a healthy place to be. You have to be who you are for you. Then he has to hold up his end by being who he is for him. Then you can really move forward. I think his insecurity makes it hard for him to be who he is. He can make it, but you can't subjugate your real self in the meantime...that really won't do either of you any good. Who you really are is so great you naturally resent the pressure to be something other.
I do want a man who loves to ML to me.. it's fun, I like it, it makes me feel good, loved and wanted. Is that a crime?
You know it's not! And he loves to ML to you; please believe that for your own sake. His issues get in the way, but that doesn't change the fact.
I can be a major b*tch,
Heh. I'd like to see that. Wonder how you define "major"?
...but honestly, I'm so very sensitive that it's hard for me to put up a wall that protects me and let go and distance.
Isn't that a great part of you? Maybe being aware of it will help enable you to work around it when it becomes a problem. But don't give it up.
Good luck! Anything new? Didn't you just get back from a trip?
Stop WaitingFeel EverythingLove AchinglyGive ImpeccablyLet Go
