Hey optimist! Share what you learn too? Isn't it hard to be patient with ourselves (and others) until we're ready to take on the next challenge?

Because when she started talking about fear, it was just too real. I couldn't do what she was talking about. I needed some kind of comfort, any comfort, real or imagined. Ya know.. we quit MC. I used the excuse that H isn't doing his part. He isn't.. but... the reason I was actually justifying - the MC kept harping on my anger.. kept pointing out how angry I was and wanted me to find the root causes of it, etc. It was just too soon after the bomb for me to be dealing with it effectively. Now that I've experienced my feelings, kinda understand them, and believe they aren't going to sweep me out to see.. I can find the root causes and work through that anger. He might as well have been stirring it with a stick at the time because there was no helping me with it until I could cope with my emotions.

Might should go back to C now. Not sure about alot and this is one of those things. I wasn't an anger hoarder before, and don't think I'll be after I heal awhile. I'm afraid focusing on it so much will make it "real", when I'm pretty comfortable dealing with "normal" life in a non-angry way. I told the C that I thought, under the circumstances that the depth of my anger was understandable and that didnt mean I had a general anger management problem. I kept saying I needed to be left alone and heal. H and the C were flipping out asking me not to end the R. I wish in retrospect that I had taken the time to have my emotions and heal and had given that gift to myself and not worried about how H or the C interpreted my actions. H coulda been working on himself and if he truly wanted to work things out, he'd have been around after I'd healed a little. As it is.. I'm having to heal a little at a time.. getting the scab picked.. it's probably going to be a longer process.

Let me know how it goes with the book Any more word from your H concerning the upcoming holidays?