I bought that book "When Things Fall Apart" when I was still in Alaska and H had stopped coming home. It was the most scared I've ever been. I constantly imagined an astronaught, floating in a space suit, without a shuttle. Like in the movie 2001 or 2010, when you see that it looks like you have a million miles to fall on all sides of you and you're just being suspended waiting for the drop. But, I was this sole astronaught with nothing but this cord that used to be attached to the planet Earth, but now the cord was severed and I was slowly floating away from any source of life support and I had nothing to hold on to, for leverage, to push me back toward Earth.
I don't know if that description really describes how scared I was, having just left my job (where I was the breadwinner in the family), moved thousands of miles away from any family or friends, to be with H at his new job. But, I think most people on this board understand.
Anyway, I bought that book while I was feeling like this. But, I only got a chapter or so into it. Because when she started talking about fear, it was just too real. I couldn't do what she was talking about. I needed some kind of comfort, any comfort, real or imagined.
So, now I'm thinking I should pick that book back up. Now that the edge of my fear has been dulled, I think I can handle looking at it again. And who knows, maybe it will help me if and when that fear comes back in full force.
Thanks for sharing these posts with the rest of us!
