LOL.. Bud, was just over reading YOUR thread! And I love the Do No Harm motto. I think I'll adopt it too.. have to tell S_H thanks.
You are right on track with the "respect me enough to not talk about this right now" I used that last night when he came into the bedroom after I settled in. I told him that I was tired and didnt want to talk, especially when I was trying to wind down and sleep. He didnt respect it AT ALL. Came in three times just to say "one thing". I finally just laid there and sang James Taylor songs in my head and said OK, OK, until he went away. He has little respect for my boundaries. I started making a mental list earlier of the ways in which he tries to control me or tell me I'm wrong, or totally ignores my boundaries. Justifying my anger But, I realized what I was doing and how counterproductive that is. It just makes me angrier! Then I remembered that you cant think negatively when thinking positively (wish I could remember who gave that advice!).
And I did finally remember what button he pushed that put me into orbit. He said "you know, you could try being affectionate or initiating ML with me too" Now, I've heard this all week, and I'm terribly insulted by it. So I'll vent here because I'm still miffed. A week ago Weds when my boss let us off for the afternoon.. instead of taking up my co-workers invite to go shopping, I thought that it would be a good time to surprise H with some time alone we hadnt had since I was sick. I arranged for the kids to be taken care of after school, came home and freshened up, called H as he was driving home and hinted that he was in for a sexy afternoon. And he was BTW! We haven't ML since, and now he says I could be affectionate and initiate ML once in awhile!!??? OK, got that out of my system. It's TOTALLY absurd. I do realize there's a hint there as to how I can make the sitch better by being more affectionate on a regular basis and intiating contact. But for now.. I'm gonna be stubborn and cut my nose off to spite my face, be totally anti-DB (just in my mind and on my thread) until I have what it takes to stand behind my efforts and do a good job of it. Not admitting that I'm taking a selfish, b*tchy, venting time out just makes me feel bad about myself when I fail when I clearly don't have what it takes to succeed at the moment.
Maybe tomorrow, but tonight, I'm fuming a little.. ignoring him, and thinking "how dare he!". And if I was Tinkerbell I'd be stomping my feet, crossing my arms and fairy dust would be flying off my butt!
But, I realized what I was doing and how counterproductive that is. It just makes me angrier! Then I remembered that you cant think negatively when thinking positively (wish I could remember who gave that advice!). 
