I had an interesting convo with a friend/co-worker today and it's led me to a question. Maybe some of you have some insight into this yourself and can share what you think. The question is: Is it true that we view our interactions with others in light of our own self image? Do we tend to notice the things that support how we feel about ourself and the rest of our interaction gets glossed over or un-noticed by us? Or, am I just particularly warped and oblivious? This might be long, so I'm just warning you to hit the back arrow if you're inclined! And I think it might trace back to my R with H, if you hang in through til the end.

Hope I can make this short, but it's doubtful! I work in a very close knit office... been there 8 years. My friend K and I are the youngest and are the office babies. We know everyone because we used to be admin support before moving up into our careers. Our cubicles are together so, we spend most of our day together and have know everything about each other. She's the chatty, flirty one.. hates to offend anyone. I'm friendly, but not afraid to run a man out of her cube if he overstays his welcome. That happens alot. When I was going through my D, I would wonder what she had that attracts the men. Under that, she can be insecure. She's always making comments that I'm the "pet", and that so and so likes me more, etc. I've always brushed the comments off and thought it was funny that she'd be jealous of me. I know she has a "sometimes friend" outside her marriage.. admiration is very important to her and if someone notices me more it seems to bother her. It's a joke between our close friends.. "poor K, everyone loves Sheila better!" And it's always funny because clearly to me, she's the more social... and at work, who really cares who likes who better anyway?! We all get along great and that's the important thing.

Anyway, our friend W (the brooding one) always comes by and says "hello", etc. He usually stops and talks to her, sometimes he talks to me. The day the chip guy at walmart flirted with me, he teased me about it. And I said "hey, that's the first man under the age of 60 who has flirted with me in years! He said "Oh really? I'm insulted you haven't noticed"

W knows my H. He's a nice guy.. I bring his D piglets because she loves them. Last week when I had my health scare he was concerned and talked to me awhile. He's had problems with Raynaud's and his D also has a heart defect. He was sweet and supportive. I mentioned it to H. Friday, he heard me say I was looking for a good book to read over the weekend and he went home at lunch and brought me one to read.

Today I heard him and K talking behind me. I was working and didnt pay attention. I got up to get something off the printer and he said "but I could always just drive down to XXXX and wait in the chip aisle until she notices me!" I said.. "haha.. that's right, I'm there every Thurs!" Then he came over in my cube and said "do you know what a teaser horse is?" I said "no". Now bear in mind that he loves horses, and K is a country girl.. they both know about that stuff, but I don't. She was laughing and her eyes got big. He said "it's the little horse that they send in to get the mare worked up before they send in the big stud!" I said.."haha.. OK" He said "the chip guy is just the teaser horse and of course I'd be the..." Then he laughed and blushed. I laughed at him for embarrasing himself and that was it.

When he left K said "gawd.. he flirts with you!" and I said "nahh...that's just W always trying to get a rise out of me" She said "no, really.. you don't notice how he looks at you?" and I said "no, not really..how does he look at me?" She rolled her eyes and said I'm clueless! I said "the guys flirt with YOU K, you're nuts!" Was going to leave it at that, but then she pointed out a guy in the office who she always teases when he comes to the printer and says "you just come up here to visit Sheila" and one day he said "of course, men love a pretty redhead". I had forgotten that. So we had a convo where I told her that men don't flirt with me or find me attractive the way that they do her and that's OK with me.. but she's reading too much into W's comment. and she said "no.. you just dont' see it".

Ugh. H is home, I'll have to finish the question later!