My wife has very intense and pleasurable orgasams, sometimes I even get her twice. But she also says if she never had sex again she would be ok with that. She NEVER goes looking for sex, EVER. I have gone for months without initiating and NOTHING, she does not desire sex. So how can you have such pleasure and yet NEVER go looking for it?
Cemar, from what I can piece together on your story, your wife was always? or often? the initiator in your earlier sexual relationship. She stopped initiating after your first child was born. I would guess that your wife's desire/arousal mechanism changed after pregnancy. She no longer had the desire first and she stopped initiating. So, the dynamics totally changed and you've not been able to get the sexual relationship established again. Certainly not at the pre-pregnancy status. Since that time there has continued to be an ongoing disconnect in your relationship to the point where she has told you that she doesn't like kissing you.
If she doesn't have "hunger" then the double-fudge brownies aren't going to be calling to her, in the same way that having little/no sexual hunger results in no pursuit of sex. People who aren't hungry aren't going to be pondering the brownies, but if someone brings them in on a plate with whip cream and starts spoon feeding it to them, they can enjoy the brownie.
But the lack of hunger continues to be there. So, no pursuit of sex.
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Even worse, is why do the LD spouses not want to give pleasure to their HD spouse? The whole purpose of sex is to GIVE love not necessarily receive it. The whole perspective that my LD wife has on sex is completely illogical to me. To intentionally NOT give your spouse pleasure just makes no sense!
The better question is why does *your* spouse not want to reciprocate to you? Discussing LD spouses as a group doesn't help you figure out how you can change your kissing technique so that your wife isn't turned off by it any more. (Did you ever ask her to show you how she prefers to be kissed?)Or why your wife finds it acceptible to recieve oral from you while refusing to reciprocate.
Have you ever asked her? Has it ever been a topic of conversation? Or argument?
The whole purpose of sex to *you* might be to give and not receive. Although I don't believe that for a minute, or you would be content giving your wife mulitiple orgasms orally while you get jack in return. Which is what you have currently, and you don't strike me as being very happy about the situation.
Your wife doesn't think and feel the same way you do about sex. That's a fact. I don't think and feel the same way about sex as NOP does. The good thing is that I don't have to in order for us to have a satisfying sex life.
Have you ever told her of the turmoil you deal with daily? You told us that she told you that she doesn't like the way you kiss. What did *you* say in return?
