Quote: The whole purpose of sex is to GIVE love not necessarily receive it.
Cemar, some people can give for a while but most people quit or greatly reduce giving when they don't get much out of the event.
whole purpose of sex is to GIVE love That is a Santa Clause mentality to some people. People give to get something they want most of the time.
I can give to the hurricane victums because it does not happen everyday and the need is so great it makes giving easy. But on a daily basis I think the givers need have to play a big part in why and what they give.
Maybe I am too much into economic models. If spouses don't want what we have to offer or do not value what we bring to a R, I suppose they are not motivated to give us what we want.
How much does your W value a sexual connection with you? What do you have or provide that she thinks is worthwile? What is the exchange rate? (make believe you and her are using different currencies and the exact same product has a different value in each currencies.)
An example of different values. My son likes to bicycle race but dislikes TV. He will pay $400 for a headlamp so he can ride at night but won't pay more than $100 for a TV.
BB would not pay more than $5 for a flashlight but did pay $1,500 for a TV.
Do you think I could ever get them to agree on a flashlight and a TV if they went shopping together. No way. I would never try to.
Next question for you, What would your W see as valuable enough to get her interested in sex? What would you have to withdraw from the R in order for her to see you are valuable. Something, leaving, nothing? Remember, some spouses want a partner/roommate, not a lover.
ZB's wife has her dogs and animal rescue. If ZB left alone or with the kids, would she change to get him and the kids back, cope, or even be happier? No predictions. Just used him as an example.
