In reference to men, this is an excerpt my comments on another thread:
“….. But your husband will need to come to terms with what he wants. Like Clint Eastwood said in Dirty Harry, “A man’s got to know his limitations.” For men, this really says it all. Boys wrestle and compete against each other to learn their limits. If you know yours, you will not over-commit and operate within the envelope of your abilities. If you reach too far, you fail, then get depressed thinking you are a loser. I see MLCers doing the same. They over-reach, fail, then come home all humbled. If they don’t over-reach, they establish a new life and go on.
I believe this disappointment is directly related to the amount of difference between the reality and the dream. If you fantasize about the ideal fairy-tale relationship, you will almost certainly be disappointed with the reality of everyday problems. If your fantasies and expectations are closer to reality, the gap is not so wide and failure is more manageable. The one variable is the size of your fantasy. It is under your control, so manage it realistically.
