Quote: does your wife contribute equally or proportionately to your household's cost of living?
Until recently she contributed some of her income and spent most of it on herself. One MC we went to said that is how it should be. I did not know it at the time but the C was a "womans issues C".
When her mother died, BB's inheritance went into a joint retirement account. BB took $7,000 at that time and bought things we already had that were good but hardly used. She spent another $5,200 on things from infomercials, QVC, TV commercials, from her pay check. she did something similar to this the previous 2 years but only spent $3,000 on heavly advertised items, QVC, newspaper adds for personal things. We had, she hauls stuff in, I haul things to the donation store for a while. i know i should have made BB do more hauling to the donation store but she just wanted to trash most discards at the time.
Now the inheritance money is in the retirement account and her early retirement income she spends mostly on things she wants day to day. I stay out of that.
If we need something expensive, the money is withdrawn from the joint retirement account. (remodel poroject, dental implants, big medical deductables and any expensive things or car BB wants.
Part of the psychology of the retirement account is, I have worked on it for over 36 years. I argued many times against spending it when the market was down and now is worth something. In the last two years BB's inheritance boosted it without BB doing anything except to be born into a certain family.
While BB complained about her family and complained to me about me doing things for them. Now BB wants to live like she deserves the things she wants and it is her birth right to do so.
Right before BB's mother died, BB had a falling out with her mother and I stepped in and tried to get BB to patch things up for 8 months. BB did in the last 30 days after her mother wound up in a nursing home, but I still have trouble with the entitlement attitude BB has. If you ask BB, I am the killjoy but I know what I saw and heard. They (dead mother and uncle) were a pain to her but their money is good today. BB said she never wanted their money, but now she has it it is burning a hole in her pocket. (the main problem as I see it)
BB always wanted things but it was not such an issue when there was less money (not many extras at the time) but now it is possible to have much more than is needed. What was an unreachable dream is now a possabiity, but how many newer, better things really enhance happiness?
Maybe in a way, I think that BB did not earn what she got from her relatives when they died. She did not seem to respect them as much as I did, or do things for them like I did. I know that does not entitle me to anything from her dead relatives. Just another case of work your fingers to the bone and wind up with bony fingers while someone else get in the right line and they win a jack pot.
Too much information Mrs Nop, but it is part of the problem. Flame away as you need to. I do respect your advice.
