RE Hp. We have family members that have perfectly good furniture they bought in 1958 and other family members that owe tons on credit cards, are stressed out by the collection calls but buy eye candy things for their cars to the tune of $1,500. We have self-made, almost millionaires, and people who ask for advance loans on an inheritance they think they will get. Both are too much for me.
About the separate funds and not getting in BB's finances, I tried that and was mostly silent for many years. Then when she spent $12,000 on things one year, I decided I did not want to live with her anymore and said so. BB admitted that something had to be done, she was out of control and wanted us to stay together. The shopping gradually dropped but so did the sex and other physical things.
Quote: I think that the shopping bothers you more on a value-system basis rather than on a financial basis.
You are right. If we did not have good cars and could utilize a $21,000 vehicle, I would buy it eventually.
You have religious reasons for not MBing that I think "get over it" this whole pope and church doctron is more about controlling people collectively than about love and treating individuals so they can function on a higher level. I was exposed to some dogmatic views but see them as detrimental to individuals collectively.
To tie this in to where I am now, I see $$ waste as an economic wrong, kind of like something people do to some future generation or to some deprived people.
If someone said "Lou you life depends on ( from our retirement account) buying yourself a new Hummer today or you have to give $50,000 to buy a shipment of corn meal that is being sent to Africa," I would look out my window and see my 1985 Dodge Caravan with 150,000 miles on it but runs well and say "I guess some people are going to have lunch in Africa." I know this does not make sense to some people. I believe in the American way of working for what you get but realize not everyone has the opportunities we have.
Quote: You can clean out the inventory at a speed that works for the both of you (nope, not ever gonna a stop harping on that one!
HP, you are right on this one. I have too much that used to be worth more, but some of the printers are being scrapped, not because they don't work, but because people think they are "old" and something might go wrong with them. I can't change enough people to make my inventory more in demand and valuable. So keep harping on me in this area friend.
Quote: perhaps you can learn to live with those differences if you do not feel that you are responsible for keeping the other in line....Whatcha think.
The wasteful spending is a core issue with me, maybe like no MBing is for you. and I am thing about limited MBing in your case. Sorry for the sexual example but that is what I just read.
I have read articles about how some new procedure or manufacturing process is going to drastically improve a product, mostly automotive related, then I get to work on the cars and think, "nice on paper but a flop in real life" or "nice on paper but you forgot to include all of the additional problems the idea causes."
What I am getting at is, Yes on paper I could mentally separate what I think are reasonable purchased from what BB purchases but the core feelings are still there and that causes a loss of respect for her.
Bb believes in some other things that I find questionable and 99% non scientific.
I did most of the financial work, now BB wants to live a semi-free spirit life and be with me but not controlled by me. To me it is similar to where the parents make a family fortune only to have the kids blow it having fun. Not that bad in our situation but some elements are true.
HP I don't intend to offend you or GGB for your religious beliefs, or to try to change your mind. I have been in group counseling where several of the group members said they were recovering Catholics, from various guilt complexes induced during childhood or through their 30's/40's. I don't know what to think sometimes. Religious theory, scientific laws as we know them, what is fair and reasonable. The last one seems to work for me.
I have more to say but don't have it organized so better quit. Too many ideas to solve and I should stick to one subject.
