About We got home and I said to BB, "you seem distant." I said that to let BB know I was aware of a problem but was not stepping in her crap.
Quote: As for the car shopping... that is a dilemma. I would say go ahead a look at cars, but make it clear you will not buy.
I don't think I can go anymore. I see her current car sitting in the driveway, most of the depreciation has happened, 39K miles, 4 wheel drive, she drives 3K miles a year, new tires, and then look at something that costs $18K more to do the same job and depreciates several thousand a year. At that rate, why work, why invest, why try to make financial improvements after all of the work I put in getting ahead. 40 years of work frittered away in 10 years.
It makes about as much sence as not smoking, exercising hard every day, eating almost perfectly then go running with the bulls in Spain only to be trampled and severely injured and maybe wheelchair bound for 6 months and say you would do it again. But that is my emotions talking.
Quote: I think this is how she gets her emotional goodies from you-- by kicking off one of these "discussions" that aren't really discussions.
Sounds reasonable Lil. BB said she always talked with her girlfriends (Jr high age) about all of the things they would have when they grew up. Now that the money is there, some of her teenaged dreams are playing out. It does not help that she has friends and relatives that buy what they want if they can make the payments or swing the loan. I am the opposite. Keep what works, pay cash.
Quote: OR taking some kind of action WITH NO COMMENT, such as, walking up to her and giving her a quick hug, kiss, arm/shoulder squeeze or something.
That sounds like I would be comforting or rescuing her and making the crucible kind of soft jawed. I need the hug too BTW but don't want to give her an easy out. At times like these, including the last year, I know why people look for OW/M or why OP relationships develope.
