Doing the Right Thing 2

[OG_Lou]

Re cobra

Sort of like a kid acting out to get punished

We had many of those kids in the group home where I worked. Two types of kids, negative attention is better than neglect or if I don't get my way, you pay. Is youe W a "you pay" type?

My thought has always been that you need to break the pursuer/avoider cycle.

That is/was part of my plan. I just did not want to ignore some positive changes and let them go un-rewarded. That can also be seen as rescuing.

When things get desperate for her, you step in.

I never considered myself a flashy dresser, a big spender, the life of the party, Mr Lover Boy, but often Lou the protector, yes. I used to think helping someone had its rewards and they would appreciate you for your good deeds, but I have been wrong before.

Dr Laura said guys that rescue damsels in distress get a distressed damsel, not a woman that shows appreciation for being rescued. I am believing her more on this observation.

Let her call the EMS and resolve it on her own in the hospital.

Cobra, I would not let things go that far. I would do more than this for someone I never met, if the need ever arose.

I don’t think you should call her at all on the trip

I think that would cause more problems than it would solve. Would it be fair if the shoe were on the other foot? Where is the "minimum level of civility line" drawn? I think this is what Lil or someone posted as having standards you set for yourself as a minimum for your own self respect or ways to avoid making things worse.

Let her deal with them through her friends. Let her see how much help they are.

If I did that, they are spenders too, so what about I have BB ask your W what BB should do. Don't get me wrong, BB's friends are mostly reasonable but liberals, do what makes you happy, you are your own person type, and in credit counseling. There is one couple I do highly respect. Some have almost no boundaries and almost anything goes.

If you need to find an offsite place that you can store you things like the old cars, cardboard, etc. This will take away her ammunition

I plead guilty on too much stuff. The cardboard goes monthly but the cars are leaving too slowl for BB, as are the printer parts and supplies.

The strange thing to me is, the more I work on eliminating things, the more BB rubs in how she sees things got out of hand. I get less flack if I don't do much around the house.

Re your situation cobra. I think Lil has the right attitude when she described her interactions with her bf, he could stay but the boose had to go. I wish your situation were that simple but with kids involved it becomes a 3 way, instead of a 2 way deal. It is not just about you or her.