She also said I need to find a woman 20 years younger, that she is too old for much physical activity and intimacies. Then she wanted me to hold her and seemed to have an attitude change.

ahh this confuses you OG. I understand. She freaked herself out with the comments and then checked to see if she was still desireable to you by using PT.

You gave in, seemed like it was progress, yes -maybe you dont know. hence you are .

It wasnt. you have to remain indifferent to this untill she is willing to 'go the distance'. You ended up staying in 'her room' I assume?

what you did was working-- you just gave in too soon. Someone else said She has too cook and struggle in her crucible, and I will add so do you --which means not giving in offersing suggestions, fixing, and doing what you have always done.

Listen to Lil. STOP the convos. She is not you. They do not work.

Make a decision, follow up with it, like sleeping in other room untill the consequences cause her to make concessions. The HRT stuff was designed to make you feel guilty, and put the burden of action on you. Do not and Do not.

You have to be able to change yourself if you want her to change.


Quote:

I don't want to be the one who is in charge of the show most of the time



Then things will never be as you want them. Ever. This want is completely counter to what is required by biology. This want is completely counter to what the Old Testament says is neccessary for a succesful M, and proscribed as the appropriate arrangement.

Your want is not accepting reality.

Also you will be doing less 'work' and things will feel better internally if you start acting as you must, instead of how society and your upbringing has conditioned.

Now I will say I understand what you meant by your statement. Stop helping her to 'fix things' coming up with soloutions for her and she will do the 'work'. Be lovingly detached and cautious of her advances. Ignore her double speak and illogic.

Stop the convos, stop the attempts to get her to 'understand', stop.

One last thing, her statements of too much internet, inventory, new car have validity. They are not bargaining chips for PT though. You have to compromise and determine how much validity, while not ignoring your needs. Have you started 'walking the dogs' with her each day to give you guys some 'chit chat time', and incorporating some physical activity at the same time? This is very necessary for most women to remain connected. Probably getting cold up there by now, though.

One last thought. I thought the Falcon was cool. Would love to have one myself in the garage for weekend cruising or a 69 SS camaro, or a convertable Corvaire etc. For everyday hauling around town and rolling down the Highway I have safe, (excludes my murdercycle ) comfortable, dependable, quiet, modern engineering. But thats just me.

You guys are opposites and both have positives to bring to the table.