Lou, ___________________________________________________________ I think if I went 80% of the way to match her friends house, BB would be happy and maybe up sex to 2X a month and not complain too much. Add to that, her friends house with out the friend's H. He kind of rules the roost and BB thinks her friend should have more say in the M. ___________________________________________________________
I'll bet BB has convinced herself of this. I'll bet she thinks that if she just kept close enough up with the Joneses that she would be happer, have more desire etc... I say, BS. I'm worried that you are starting to believe that maybe this stuff would actually impact her in this way.
Caveat: If you live in squalor and BB's friends have access to nicer things, don't just srape by etc... then I would have a different opinion. People who are scraping for the necessities typically don't have a lot of desire, even the more HD of us don't function well under serious financial stress.
So, Lou, assuming that you don't live in squalor and that you adequately fill BB's "love tank" I think that gets you up to baseline "good, postive feelings" not sexual feelings. There is something missing here and I sense that besides the respect issues that we have harped on before I think that BB doesn't understand the sexual side of herself. She seems to see sex as marital currency. So, to her, it is how you get extras. A certain amount of actions toward the love tank is expected. Extras can be bought with some sex. Am I totally off base here? Does it seem like that at all to you? Maybe I'm being harsh here but I keep feeling like BB just isn't in touch with her sexual self so sex has taken on other meanings in her life e.g. chore, marital currency etc...
If this is correct Lou then all the efforts at filling her love tank will result in a more pleasant marriage. What that might buy is BB's willingness to go to therapy not her willingness to get serious about your SL. What do think?
