Quote: It's not like the inventory is sitting in the middle of the living room floor
None in her or our space upstairs.
Quote: "From now on, I want us to spend two evenings a week together, and maybe you can find time to putter with your gadgets at another time so it doesn't interfere with our 'together time,'" that would be a different matter...
I would buy into that idea, but nothing like it was offered. Just, I can't be sexual with all of XYZ going on in her life or XYZ in the house or women my are are not built for sex, or I lost those desires back when.
Quote: but I think if it weren't the 'stuff' it would be something else.
It has been other things, events, people so that is why I don't count on the things being gone, will solve the problems.
BB has a female friend that worked at the same place for almost 40 years. Her job was in the food department of a large company but she did not cook. She got fed up with working, quit at around 57 years of age, no pension but had IRA's, very rarely cooks and tells people she does not cook, has a very nice house, not even an old news paper laying around, only a cat box and an exercise bike in the basement, perfectly clean car and garage. The H is retired and never worries about paying for anything. After all, what are charge cards for, charging! Get the picture Lil. I think BB compares her/our life with this woman's lifestyle and sees we live in a dump or warehouse.
This is why I say I don't think the improvements I make to the house or the things I move out will really solve the whole problem. The differences between our two houses are significant, as are the differences between the people.
I do admit I have way too much stuff and will remove about 50% to 65% of it in the next year. Will it be good enough is the question?
Quote: Frankly, I don't know what WOULD fill BB's love tank...
I think if I went 80% of the way to match her friends house, BB would be happy and maybe up sex to 2X a month and not complain too much. Add to that, her friends house with out the friend's H. He kind of rules the roost and BB thinks her friend should have more say in the M.
I need to lighten the load, so will continue to gradually move things out. They need to go so HP is right in a way. but getting what I want???, that is the 64,000 dollar question.
About me and BB BB seems to pay more attention to things I want to do and is being a little more attentive. I was concerned about ((I said "I tried to love her but was rejected so often, there is little if any love in me for her now." I said I was not trying to be mean or spiteful, just trying to protect myself." from saturday evening. Maybe it did some good and not too much harm. Sure is a lot different than some posts i read where women say their H just left and they had no idea he was unhappy. Slightly different than ILUBINILWY speech other posters write about but very similar.
Additional thoughts to ponder. Do some guys love someone but they don't know it or can't say it? BB once said I was one of those guys.
