I didn't mean to suggest that any of these things are set up by either party as tests. It's just that they often turn out to have been tests after the fact.
That's also not to say that people don't sometimes create situations AS tests.
My point was that the ordinary bumps and ridges of everyday life naturally create events that give each partner the challenge and opportunity to react graciously and compassionately like a grownup or withdraw in a pout like a cranky toddler.
