Quote: if this doesn't make any difference to her, then you need to either accept that your M will always be sexless or move on if you can.
When things like this happen, I usually get tid-bits of something sexual along with rational (to her) semi-medical reasons menopausal women were not built for sex or physical closeness (hot flashes). I say I understand some how she feels but dont buy in to the theory that sex once every 6 weeks or twice a month is reality. Now there is the don't get close to me or you will triger my hot flashes thing.
About moving on, that takes more of my time than it used to.
Re Hairdog
Quote: You let her know that you won't be manipulated anymore.
FWIW, I don't know how much good it will do, but time will tell. She has her pets and old re-runs on TV to fall back on.
Re Lil
Quote: In your avoidance of her, please continue to be cordial-- make sure you're not being pouty or anything.
The cordial part is not much problem but the pouty part is more difficult.
Quote: If you can let her know that you are not doing this to be mean, but as a personal survival method.
I said something like this when I told BB I had to back off trying to change the R and she had to do more of the R work. She has her dogs and other pets to fall back on, similar situation as what your BF does with your cats, but not with you. I have my work that helps keep me occupied and lots to do around the house. (note to self what about GAL activities?)
I did attend a self-help group but it did not help. The theme was a version of AA's big book. Other books or methods were discouraged. Nice bunch of people but too focused on "The Book" for me.
No one really said anything specific what they were having trouble with, just that they did or did not do X and what the read from the "book" that helped them. I asked about something pertaining to something I read in another book and was told, because the idea was not in "the book" it was not appropriate material for the meeting.
Quote: Heck, she may dig you a new tunnel with cheese when she really gets that the Old Game is over.
Well I was offered a newer car ($10K from our money ) but turned it down. GEL's H offered to buy her things she did not want. I guess it is common for some people to think money will fix a problem.
Lil, I will look for the tunnel with some cheese in the mean time.
Can we say junk yard? Or do I have to be PC and say "Auto Recycler" I finally found 2 1985 Dodge Caravans with a 5-speed transmission (25-27 miles per gallon). One is in good condition (no rust) to rebuild (high milage but not ratty), the other was in a minor crash. The second van is for spare parts as some of the parts are not available new. $600 for both. I know these vehicles well because I worked in the dealership when they were new.
One of my newer cars might need automatic transmission work ($1,200, I could fix it myself if I bought the special tools) so having something that requires little repair (5-speeds)and increases fuel milage is right up my alley. BB does not understand me liking older cars and thinks anything X years old is junk.
Well I was offered a newer car ($10K from our money ) but turned it down. 
I know these vehicles well because I worked in the dealership when they were new.