About a year ago, I had a sleep study done for my snoring. I wound up with a CPAP blower and mask that puts a little pressure up your nose and into the oral cavity and pushes the tongue forward, hence no snoring. That was great for a while, now BB is complaining about a little air that leaks out past the mask side and vent. Now I am keeping her awake again and she moved to the sofa one night. That did not make me feel good because this is the just more distancing activity.
Last year it was my snoreing, then she has hot flashes so she does not want me to be near her because my body heat sets off her hot flashes, then the phone rings at night (old post about unwanted faxes), the two dogs and cat? have to be on the bed with her, she sleeps in the middle of the bed and says I take too much room, and the radio on at night for long periods while she sleeps. (some of the complications).
I suggest BB sleep by the window but she had excuses of why her water, tissue, radios, lamp, dog bed, pills, lotions would not fit in the space on the other side of the bed. I said I would move the things but she said that it would not work so I dropped the rope.
I told BB I was done trying to make things work between us. I was tired of being rejected. I was tired of her being picky and negative to my suggestions. I said she can sing to her dogs and baby talk to them as she has been doing. I said I wanted some affection like the dogs get but was tired of doing the right things so some came my way. I said if she was so concerned about the dogs but turned me down as she has, I not in a position to be turned down anymore. Being turned down hurt too much for me to do it again. I said if she wants a R with me, she had to do most of the work from now on.
I almost said she could watch the TV shopping channels again and buy as much as she wanted to. I almost said she could get another dog and hoped she would be happier with them than I had been with her, but I didn’t. I did say I was sorry for her that the dogs seemed to make her happier than I do.
BB said she was going through some sleepless nights and need some alone time at night in her room while she sleeps. I said I think this is a pattern, not a few bad nights.
I moved my things to the other bedroom and have been avoiding BB most of the day. I am not trying to be mean, selfish, or controlling, and I indicated that to BB. What I don’t want is the jump through all of her hoops and wind up with little to show for my efforts.
BB also said she loves me and did put her hand on my back and started to offer some things we could do in the line of touching but they had conditions that made the potential results too conditional.
I suppose because BB offered a little (temporary?) physical touch activities, now I will be the one blamed for the lack of progress. What was offered was not enough for me.
So, get out the 2X4 and tell me what I did wrong or not enough of. You would think we would not be doing the above things I wrote about and two adults would be able to come up with more solutions. Maybe things will get better in the next couple of days, who knows? If they don’t who knows.
Per DBing, did my actions get me closer or further away? Like cobra, my position is, I don’t like what we have now so the answer is both. I hope we are reducing some of BB’s pickiness and I hope I am saying tid-bits are not enough to sustain a M.
My vacation plans are still on but a week or two late.
