I think there is a more subtle benefit from confrontation. Sure Globule does not need to confront his dad to work through this, and he is not stuck if his dad were to die today, but while his dad is alive, think of the benefit that could come from coming to completion with him. Although Globule can work through this on his own, it is still theoretical. He would guess his father would be remorseful, but he does not know it. It is so much more powerful to hear it and feel it first person. There is no way working through this on his own can duplicate this feeling.
My wife cannot work through her issues with her mother since she is dead. And she won’t work through issues with her father, so he is essentially dead. Were she to go see her dad and work out her anger, she could gain so much more, even though she thinks she has done this in theory. If she could only here him say he is sorry, forgive him, reconcile and start up a new relationship, she could move much farther ahead in her healing.
As you say MrsNOP, his father could come back with a damaging remark, but he is an adult and should know this possibility is there. I know it could be painful, but he should be prepared for this going in. I also think there is a difference in standing up to his father in a manly manner (even if he is very polite and cordial) versus “hiding” behind the protection of a counselor and knowing he was too timid to confront his dad on his own.
And even if Globule’s dad comes back with some of the rebuttals you say, he still becomes empowered by making the confrontation. He has stood up to his dad, whether his dad acknowledges the pain or not and whether he likes it or not. But his dad knows that Globule is a force to be reckoned with and Globule will know that he knows it. It is not about making his dad submit, but about letting Globule finally come into his own. He is finally taking the right of passage he never had. For me, as a man, I would not want to avoid this matter. Anything less would be hiding. It is a gamble that Globule must evaluate. If he can prepare for the risks, a catastrophe should not create too much more damage. But I think the gains are too great to ignore.
