If he has come to realize the damage he has done, and you two are on cordial terms, then there should be less to fear from the confrontation. You needn’t attack him then just confront him and express all your hurts, but you two may be able to do it in a civil manner, which would be even MORE therapeutic for you!
So now I am stuck with the conundrum of how do I attack someone who is trying to find peace in the last few years of his life…
To me this says you are trying to rationalize a way to avoid the confrontation. I think it is a form of rescuing. Sweeping it under the rug. It may be good for him, but it will not help you.
Maybe you are right, I should just get it all out and then start trying to heal. The problem is that it is a huge ogre in my closet, and I don't want to open that door. I'll bet that if the psychiatrist I am going to see is any good, she might request a joint session with my parents (I've heard of that happening). Maybe that could provide a controlled environment for the outburst.
A few thoughts on this…. The ogre in the closet will not go away and could morph into other demons over the years. There is no way to know what this could be. You see my sitch as an example of that. And confronting your step dad on your own initiative, without hiding behind the cover of the counselor could be the better move for you (furthermore, how likely is it that your step dad will agree to such a meeting, knowing he is coming in for a beating?). Neither your step dad nor the counselor has anything to gain from this. This is all about you, so do what ever you need to that will help you the most and grab as much empowerment as you can.
