The twins actually took a decent nap. Usually when they wake up, the older one will just cry her eyes out for about an hour for no apparent reason Funny how kids are so different, even twins. When my S was a baby he would wake up EVERY morning crying. My D always woke up in a great mood. Go figure. Daddy had just bought a new soft sweatshirt, and she seemed to enjoy snuggling up in it (probably feels like a king-sized bed to her ) and forgot to cry. It was nice. Anyway, daddy and baby got so comfortable that we both took a nap. AWWW! Cute. Isn't that the best, sleeping with a baby. Send a toast my way if you open up a bottle. If you're up there in yankee-land just aim your glass SW and it'll be close enough. I'm all out of good alchohol here, except a bottle of Hungarian wife (great stuff!) that I am saving for a special occasion, but I may have a raspberry smirnoff or two lying around Just gave you a toast! You didn't clink my glass though. Ok, was the Hungarian "wife" a Freudian slip or what?!? I don't think I've ever had Hungarian wine. I'm Austrian/German ancestry so I've had plenty of German Gewurztraminer and Riesling. Dry Reislings are my favorite and there are some really great ones up here in NY by the Finger Lakes. When I'm not drinking wine, I usually go for a Corona with lime and love Smirnoffs too! Never had the rasberry ones, mmmmm.
Every tried a caramel martini? And the drinking conversation continues Lol... No I haven't had a caramel martini but I love apple martinis. You could combine the two and make a caramel apple martini! Perfect for Halloween. There is one guy I have been hanging out with a bit. He is a student of mine, but he is "non-traditional" (in his late 40s) so I really don't think of him as a student. We have quite a few non-traditional students at our school too. They're always my favorite because they tend to take it more seriously. I've got a few other friends, but I'm always afraid of dumping on IRL friends I hear ya. There's only so much you can share before you start to come off like a loony! Most people expect you to get over it, deal with it, accept it, whatever. F-That! Easier said than done. the one friend I don't mind dumping on, because she has done the same to me, is the mutual friend That's good since she can relate but bad because there is no way in hell you're not going to be enquiring about the OW. Tough situation there. I'm sure you don't want to lose that friend but what are you going to do about the OW connection? I don't have anyone for TLC or touch friendship. If the wife doesn't touch me, I don't get it at all, which means I mostly don't get it at all. Sucks You need to find some outlet for this I would think. How about massage or something? Probably don't have that in your small town but somewhere nearby maybe? I know it's not the same thing...unless you turn into Pretty in Pink. I still wonder how she is doing. Are you out there PIP? I'm thinking of you. Fill us in. I'm sending plenty of cyber hugs in the meantime (I know, they suck) but that's what happens when you live thousands of miles away. Most households have a coffeepot in the house, and some even take the time to get the nice coffees (Gevalia, etc.). Not only are there no coffee shops, we only have fast food, two mexican restaurants, two chinese restaurants, and one "grill"-type restaurant. No italian (my favorite), no seafood (my second favorite), no nice sit-down places, etc. etc. etc. Lots of fried catfish places though. (that's me barfing). Coffee pots in houses? What a concept. Italian and seafood are my favorits too, although I also love Mexican (goes well with my Coronas). Never had fried catfish but I think I would like it. I like to try new things. But since you are barfing over it, I'll take your word for it LOL. You have definitely been more help to me than I have been to you ... so far. I will return the favor. What is with these insane statements? I've "talked" more to you than anyone else in weeks. You have been SO helpful to me. You're the best!! I know it's hardly a consolation but there is someone in this world (ME ) who values you so much. I've never found a "real" friend on the internet before so this is all new to me, but I feel like we really are friends. It's so strange. I wonder what you are doing and how you are feeling during the day and stuff. It's so funny to actually care about someone you only know through the computer screen. But I do!! Don't forget it!
"I've got my wine and M&M's in front of me so life is good again" What a combo!
"Desperate Housewives is on tonight. Guilty pleasure." Can't watch shows like that. Remind me too much of the hot sex I am missing. I end up watching mostly horror movies. Loved "The Grudge", "The Ring" and their Japanese versions.
"Might as well wait out the one year with no fault." Sounds like it. I have never really thought about divorce or the legal ramifications. I have no idea what the statutes are in my state. Don't really want to know.
"Now that I've put you to sleep, I'll move on" No no, I found that interesting. I always like to learn.
"I know this is where you struggle because you have a much faster pace than your W right now but hopefully she will catch up." I tend to have a faster pace than most folks. I've had to learn to slow down to accomodate students, but I still sometimes go at the speed of light if not checked. I've got to learn to do the same when it comes to personal issues that involve other people. Especially since this is perhaps the most important issue in my life.
"So we have some faults, at least we have each other to keep each other in line. Sort of." Agreed! I'll try to remember to post here before I do something really drastic and get feedback before jumping in. Won't happen everytime, sometimes the water is just too inviting, but even a few times will help.
"Don't ever be afraid to give me advice. It doesn't mean I'm going to take it" WHAT! You don't immediately apply everything I say to your actions?!? NOOOOOOOO!
"Am I doing the right thing? Why am I even trying to make this work? It can't be just about the kids. Will he up and leave again? Will I?!? UGH." So you do understand the ping-pong match that goes on inside my head. Back and forth at lightning speed. UGH only begins to describe it.
"Find ways to either vent your feelings or escape your feelings. It will help while waiting for the W to get on board so to speak." I am trying, but there are so many triggers. For me, one of the main issues is the lack of not only hot sex, but sex itself and affection. EVERYWHERE you look these days in the media, sexuality is emphasized. It just reminds me of what I am missing.
"Sure, you won't be shot down but I'm sure you are afraid that your own resentment will hit a breaking point and if you don't try anymore that means YOU don't care anymore. Then where is the M? Total detachment on both ends. That's where H and I were right before the separation. Neither one of us were really making any efforts anymore to work on the EC, the SL, anything. At least you can bring this all up in MC. " Very true words, and somewhat ominous. Fortunately, I did see some signs of life today after I posted. She actually sat in my lap once after I asked and then later that evening snuggled up against me without me asking. She still had her arms crossed while snuggling, but it was a start. We both promptly fell asleep.
"Do you not believe that she wants you anymore? Loves you? Does she say she loves you even if she doesn't act like it? Has she brought up OW at all? If I were her I would be asking a lot about it I would think. "have you talked to her?" all that stuff." I don't know. Sometimes I wonder, but then she will act like she did tonight and I am unsure again. I think snuggling up against me is a long way from "wanting" me. Sometimes I cannot feel any love from her, other times I feel a little bit. She rarely says I love you without it being a response to me saying it. She never says it spontaneously. She has not brought up OW at all except for one question in the past week basically asking if she was still involved in the project we were working on.
"I'm a freak of nature!" Agreed!!!!
"Recollect me darlin, raise me to your lips, two undernourished egos, four rotating hips"
"Isn't that the best, sleeping with a baby." Absolutley. Good for the soul.
"Just gave you a toast! You didn't clink my glass though." That's cause I was out of smirnoffs.
"Ok, was the Hungarian "wife" a Freudian slip or what?!?" LOL. Didn't catch that in the editing.
"Dry Reislings are my favorite and there are some really great ones up here in NY by the Finger Lakes. When I'm not drinking wine, I usually go for a Corona with lime and love Smirnoffs too! Never had the rasberry ones, mmmmm." Never had a Reisling, will have to remember to try it next time I am up that way. Yet another thing we have in common ... I love Coronas with lime. Raspberry smirnoffs are the best in my opinion, followed closely by the black cherry. I know, I know, its a girlie drink.
"Recollect me darlin, raise me to your lips, two undernourished egos, four rotating hips"
"No I haven't had a caramel martini but I love apple martinis. You could combine the two and make a caramel apple martini! Perfect for Halloween." Never thought of that. I wonder if the flavors would mix well.
"Most people expect you to get over it, deal with it, accept it, whatever. F-That! Easier said than done." That is one of the things I hate about talking with most people. I do have a good friend/colleague but he just takes a hammer to everything, relationship issues included.
"I'm sure you don't want to lose that friend but what are you going to do about the OW connection?" Don't know. We haven't actually talked much this week. But we tend to do that. Go for long stretches with no convo, then there will be about 100 emails in one week.
"You need to find some outlet for this I would think. How about massage or something? Probably don't have that in your small town but somewhere nearby maybe?" I've actually been looking into it as a gift for my wife. I've never really had a massage. The wife doesn't give them to me.
"I'm sending plenty of cyber hugs in the meantime (I know, they suck) but that's what happens when you live thousands of miles away." Aw shucks. Thanks. They don't suck. They're not going to cure the longing for touch, but the thought is nice. Its the first hug I've had in awhile.
"Never had fried catfish but I think I would like it. I like to try new things." If you take any advice that I give you, take this. Avoid the fried catfish. Anyone who has had real seafood would barf over that stuff. Yucko!
"You have been SO helpful to me. You're the best!!" For the second time in this email, aw shucks. Thanks.
"I know it's hardly a consolation but there is someone in this world (ME ) who values you so much. I've never found a "real" friend on the internet before so this is all new to me, but I feel like we really are friends. It's so strange. I wonder what you are doing and how you are feeling during the day and stuff. It's so funny to actually care about someone you only know through the computer screen. But I do!! Don't forget it!"
Man that really touches my heart. It is no small consolation to me. I do feel a frienship to you as well. I feel that you care for me in the words that you say, I hope you do too. I hope we can help each other through these troubled times. Thanks for being there for me. Knowing that someone does care for me helps keep me from going insane, which gives me a chance to make things work with the W. How much do you charge per hour for counseling again?
"Recollect me darlin, raise me to your lips, two undernourished egos, four rotating hips"
Morning Globule I need to get to my exercise class in a minute but thanks for the posts. I was thinking (big shocker I know) that I wanted to offer you a different way to reach me. After much consideration, I decided that some of what we were talking about was getting way off topic and we're probably boring/annoying the other great people on this board with our tangents. I still want to be able to talk to you about music, work, chocolate, lol but it is getting a little excessive on here. Plus, there are some things that I would share with a friend that I'm really not comfortable sharing on an open forum like this. I could really use a friend right now who I can talk totally open to about all this without the lurkers passing judgment or just being voyeurs. Anyways, you can reach me at chocochipfan at hotmail if you want to. I'm still going to post on the board too. Hope you're having a great morning. Glad to hear the W made some progress last night. Small steps. Better than nothin'. LFL
Glob, Guess what I made H for dinner Fri night....yep, fried catfish.
For some reason I thought he liked it. I avoid fried food due to my need to keep my girlish figure, kwim. Anyway I did it for him, thinking that he loved fried fish.
Well, he was hemming and hawing and not really diving in which is NOT like my H. Finally he confessed that he "hates" fried catfish and just looking at it makes him want to puke. I was SO surprised I just started laughing! I think in the 10 yrs we've been married, he's said Yuck to 2 things I've made--the fried catfish and this homemade pumpkin ravioli. He *always* compliments me on dinner even if it's nothing special, or not that tasty. So for him to say that he hates catfish and it was puke-y must have been a huge understatement for him. I was bummed cause it takes a while to fry fish at home, not to mention the smoke and the stinky fish smell that invades everything. Anyway, when I read your post, I started laughing all over again.
Lesson learned!
However, you coulda posted your opinion earlier so I could have avoided feeding fried barf to my family.
I understand about the excessive posting. I was beginning to wonder about that too. I hope no one here was offended or upset by all the off-topic posting. I just saw it as a way to vent my feelings without bombarding my wife. I do want to continue to post here because I feel you all have given me lots of great advice, things to talk to the C about, and ways to plan for the future. I see now that the thoughts I had about my R before coming to this board were way off-base, so I think you guys have helped me have a chance to save my marriage. Sorry again, if the jibber-jabber got excessive.
I got you message LFL and will respond soon. Got a busy morning because I will be out of town for most of the day. It'll be fun to talk about wine and stuff, a good distraction from all the serious things (that I do like to talk about as well). That way we can focus on the serious stuff here (with a joke or two thrown in from time to time ... I've been enjoying reading the banter on some of the other threads like OG_Lou's).
Yep, some progress yesterday and I feel much better and relaxed because of it. Just like there was a vicious circle working in the opposite direction (no affection - get anxious - act silly - less attractive - no affection) there can be a circle working in the positive direction (a little affection - more relaxed and confident - act cool - more attractive - more affection). I hope I can stay in that circle for awhile.
"Recollect me darlin, raise me to your lips, two undernourished egos, four rotating hips"
Globule and LFL...I enjoy your banter. Humor is always welcome here. I would encourage you both to stay on the board...you will be surprised how the cumulative effect of all the posts helps out. LFL...I would advise you to get back to your thread and keep it updated...helps with organizing your thoughts and letting others chime in. But first pass the m and m's.
You and LFL seem to have a great rapport and seem to be able to offer each other a lot of help. I’d just think about how your wife might look at having confidential emails with another woman (not to imply anything about you LFL). I suspect she won’t be too happy with you posting so much about her on this board, much less in private emails. It’s your call, but at the very least I wouldn’t let her know about it. You might be careful about how you use email, because in spite of what everyone thinks, messages are never really deleted. They are archived and can be easily traced.
Perfect for Halloween. 
Most people expect you to get over it, deal with it, accept it, whatever. F-That! Easier said than done.
You need to find some outlet for this I would think. How about massage or something? Probably don't have that in your small town but somewhere nearby maybe? I know it's not the same thing...unless you turn into Pretty in Pink. I still wonder how she is doing. Are you out there PIP? I'm thinking of you. Fill us in.
Italian and seafood are my favorits too, although I also love Mexican (goes well with my Coronas). Never had fried catfish but I think I would like it. I like to try new things. But since you are barfing over it, I'll take your word for it LOL.
