"Given your current situation, this approach (the direct approach) was probably too much ( way too physical). I understand your feeling for wanting to do that, really I do (BTDT)." Agreed.
"stop for a moment and watch her in the mirror. When she noticed your presence, a hand on the shoulder and a kiss on the neck and the simple words "I love you, Beautiful" might have been a more effective way of conveying what you were feeling at that moment." I do that at different times. For some reason, despite the fact that I knew it was stupid, I did the other more physical thing anyway. Perhaps it was because I had backed off the more loving/romantic stuff because it seems like I am doing that too much, i.e. smothering her.
"Especially if it is the way that you usually communicate these feeling to her" Not usually I don't. As a matter of fact, her comment that I "do it all the time" was not true. Maybe she also sees the other things I do (what you called the more loving/romantic gestures) as also being grabby. If that is the case, I have NO IDEA what in the hell I am supposed to do other than completely back off.
"its not the kind of message that she may be ready to receive (save it for later)" I agree with that. The problem is, THERE IS NO LATER!!!! Right now there is just this open ended "we are not going to have sex" situation going on. Part of my problem is I am horrible at bottling up my feelings. And my feelings are mostly that I want EC, affection, and sex (in that order).
"step up to the plate hold back on the grabby stuff (at least for now)." OK, will do. No more grabbing until I get the OK from her.
On a side note, I did take the more gentle approach this morning. While she was nursing, I sat there looking at her until our eyes met. I then told her, "You always look so beautiful in the morning." She looked away and said "I don't know why you think so, my hair is all messed up, no makeup, feeling tired." I just stared at her till she trailed off. When our eyes met again, I smiled at her, then left the room. Better, or still needs some work?
Oh, and it didn't change her attitude toward me, she's still stand-offish.
"Recollect me darlin, raise me to your lips, two undernourished egos, four rotating hips"
