Was that before the separation that H bailed on the C? No, after. He left (out of the blue, no warning, didn't even talk to me about it first) Then, he agreed to start C which we did for 4 months but he was dragging his heels the whole time. Thus, my question to you if your W was engaged in the process or dragging. It will make a huge difference. In fact, it will be critical so be mindful of it. Looking back I could see H was not really trying but I wanted it so bad at the time I overlooked it. Learn from my mistakes if you can. Maybe even confront her in the C session if she does not seem to be making any progress/changes after a few weeks/months of C. The only thing that ended up working was me totally disengaging from him and the M. Stopped all C and R talk. Moved full steam ahead towards legal separation (which we still are), and moved on without him. Oh surprise, just happened to want me back when I didn't want him anymore. Men!