Quote: So any show of jealousy was illogical since an action that would create this feeling in me meant that she was leaving me, probably for some good reason and if she found someone more attractive than I, what could I do about it.
Ditto. Former belief, Jealousy is a negative unhealthy emotion. Must be eradicated.
My H used to drive me nutty with his TOTAL lack of jealousy
Guilty. Nothing could make me jealous. Nothing. Untill the affair started, I showed jealousy, got smirked at and was validated in my beliefs that cobra stated above.
It makes her feel good because it soothes her insecurities
I was of a mind she needed to get over them. Find it in herself. Cold/heartless, guilty. My current actions are more of the same, I guess. Paying the price. She isnt subjected to it anymore.
In retrospect I see how that baffled her and hurt her. The times I saw her doing it to 'test' the R so to speak, and get/see a reaction from me I thought it was immature and so ignored it. I certainly would never intentionally make her jealous. Towards the end when I saw her getting caught up in her feelings, I thought they were her's to control or not. Felt it, crushed it, shut her out. She wants to be here or not. I have value or don't. So shes not. More validation. Incorrect I know. Wont let best man from next wedding live with me.
Thanks to all for your insights in my thread, I had a customary long reply to you LFL, but I am going to let it lie.
