What I consider to be the best parts of me seem to clash with what others are saying I should do. Who's living your life? Only you know what is best for you in the end Globule. I guess my dilemma is that our culture says you should reserve all of your sexuality for your spouse. But my spouse doesn't want my sexuality. What do I do with it? Can't bottle it up anymore. That is the $64,000 question isn't it. Why do you think so many people swing, parallel date (Hi! Blackfoot), have PA/EA - because it is almost impossible for one person to meet all of your sexual/emotional needs. If they are meeting NONE, I think you have a clear cut answer. At least to me you do. Some would argue that. But I do not believe denying your sexuality is the way to go. I'm still struggling with this myself and my H has been meeting a lot more of my needs. More but of course, not all. Should I deny myself those needs or find other outlets for them? Some say that is a moral/religious issue. I disagree. I think is a very personal issue that only THAT person can figure out for themselves. You can't rubber stamp how everyone else should live their lives. I've said before, that if it wasn't for the kids, I may not have reconciled with H. But RIGHT NOW in my life, I feel emotionally and believe intellectually that we are better off as a family. That does not mean I am returning to my old self. No. But I am living within this M as my new self and taking it as it comes. Honestly, my innocence regarding the M is gone. I do not EXPECT that we will live happily ever after. Frankly, I can't see more than a few months down the road. I'm ok with that although a little restless. I'm trying not to dwell on the future and I don't think you should either.
