"I remember something that happened with my late husband. Our SL had become pretty lackluster due to various things. I remember one night in bed I just rolled over toward him and planted a big wet kiss on him like the way we used to do when we were first married. He didn't really respond, and when I broke the kiss, he said, "What are you doing?" I said, kind of miffed, "I was kissing you." He said, "Well, that's not our accustomed pattern." Needless to say, that killed the mood, and I never did that again. (My bad, but somewhat understandable.)
My point is that both parties try to define and predict each other, even if the definition includes expectations of spontaneity. It seems hard to react honestly in the moment without being burdened too much by past or future, kwim?"
What an awful story. Killing the mood would have been my first reaction.
Getting away from past behaviors is one of the hardest things for me, and I think going to be hard for my W too. It is amazing how adaptable we humans are, but we still try to force ourselves into little boxes, some a lot smaller than others.
"Recollect me darlin, raise me to your lips, two undernourished egos, four rotating hips"
