Karen How are you coming along with your goals? Sometimes it seems like we try to change so much for our spouses in order to get them interested in us again. I like a lot about what Michelle says in her books, but one thing struck me about my situation the other day and it probably applies to a lot of people. If our spouses are getting everything they currently want out of the R, what motivation do they have to change their behavior? Here we all are, trying to become better people and working on ourselves (all with the hope of turning our Spouses interest in us around) and in many cases, they are not appearing to care or do anything on their side of the fence. What can we do to motivate them?
If your H is jealous about you having other boyfriends, should you be so quick to disuade him of that? Would he want you more if he really thought he was competing for your affections? It is an interesting question. If he is the violent type, maybe not such a good idea. But a little mystery may make him think about it.
You are lucky. You still sound like you two ML. That can be a real healing blessing. Cherish it. Maybe even build on it.
Neither of you were perfect when you married. You probably have the same basic personality you did when you first met. Change what you want to about yourself for yourself, not for him. If your emotional reactivity is a bother for you, then enjoy the process of changing. If it is only a problem for him, however....?
"...the true sign of insanity is repeating the same action, but expecting a different response each time!" Einstein said it, but I LIVE it!
